You Are Loving

Last night as I was putting my kids to sleep, I was overwhelmed with the realization that I did NOT do a great job that day. I was not patient. I was not kind. I snapped at the smallest things and was so quick to get upset with them. 

It hit me to the point that I was in tears. I wanted to re-do the entire day. When I laid down with my 4 year old daughter, I told her we needed to talk and I started to cry. We had a genuine heart-to-heart in that moment where i apologized for how I had been towards them that day. I cried as I talked and she held back tears, watching me cry. She not only forgave me but also apologized for not listening. We held each other until she fell asleep and it was a night i'll never forget. It's so hard for me to believe that she is old enough to have these types of conversations and to actually be able to listen to my heart and share hers with me.

But that isn't that part of the night that stuck out to me the most. Before laying with her, I was putting my son to sleep. While I was rocking him, and being flooded with the feelings of doing a terrible job that day, I was singing him the song that I sing every single night. A song that I wrote for the both of them when he was just a few weeks old. So, almost three years ago now. 

The last part of the song is a declaration. I sing who God says they are over them. 

You are loving.
You are kind.
You are strong and
You are brave
You are peaceful
You are patient
and you are
a child of the King.

Tonight was different, though. Tonight, while I sang this song over my son just like I have for almost three years, it was different. As tears filled my eyes, feeling defeated from a rough day, the lyrics were shifted. As soon as I started this part of the song, it was like I was singing them over myself. In the little small moments in life like this one, God took the words that I have declared over my kids for YEARS, and using my own mouth, sang them over me as a mother.

You are loving.
You are kind.
You are strong and
You are brave
You are peaceful
You are patient
and you are
a child of the King.

I say of this as a reminder to every mom out there. You may have rough days. You may have days where it feels like you did a terrible job. You may feel defeated and overwhelmed. But I wanted to remind you that no matter how you responded today, no matter if you felt like worlds worst mom, no matter if you wish you could re-do the day but can't.....

You are loving. You are kind. You are strong and you are brave. You are peaceful, you are patient, and you are a child the king.